Wednesday, December 29, 2004

So apparently I now work for Verizon and Earthlink

This post is going to be bitchy, as I've had it with both companies and still do not have my DSL hooked up.

Back story:

I moved to a new house in early December. I put in a move request for DSL at my new house with Earthlink before Thanksgiving. I checked it online the next day and it was gone. I put in another request, again is disappeared. A third, and it was gone. So I did a live chat to try a fourth time and was told to call in. I did and finally got the move request processed on November 29th.

Now you would think that was all I needed to do and between Verizon, my local phone company, and Earthlink, they could get my DSL turned on in the new house.

But no, it was not to be.

I called Verizon on December 15 and was told that they had my line DSL ready and told me to call Earthlink. I did and they told me my DSL would be active on December 17. OK, so on said day, I waited and waited and waited and my poor little DSL box never synced up. Hmmmmm.....

So Monday December 20 I called Earthlink and they told me that they had turned on my DSL as promised. But when I verified my address it was wrong and they had, in fact, turned on DSL to my old phone number, because Verizon screwed up my phone change request and put in my old address. Now why no one noticed that I was moving into and out of the same house is beyond me. But no one did. So, I had to call Verizon to get that squared away. Which I did.

I then called Earthlink and had to put in an entirely new move DSL request. That was done on December 22. But when Earthlink sent the information electronically to Verizon, Verizon kicked it back as invalid and Earthlink promptly cancelled my request. But did anyone call me.....no.

So every day last week and this week, I've been on the phone starting at 8:30 AM and talking to one company, who tells me to call the other company, which I do and then back and forth until around noon when everything, so they both tell me, is fine and I'll have DSL in a couple of days.

But then I check the request on Earthlink's website and each day it says there is a problem with my order and I call in again. And every day Earthlink keeps telling me my order was cancelled. Why? Because Verizon keeps kicking it back.

So I hit my whits end this last Monday morning when after two hours of talking to people from each company, Earthlink told me to, once again, call Verizon. And I said NO! I told her that I didn't work for either company, that I was their customer and I paid them. I told the lady that I would not call anyone again, that she needed to call someone at Verizon and speak to an actual person and figure out what was going on. She hitched a second and then finally said, "Well, yes, I suppose I could do that." Holy Hell, she supposes she could do that.....isn't that what she gets paid to do?

And you know what she found out. Verizon was kicking each request back because Earthlink was submitting the wrong technical specs for my DSL. Again, why no one bothered to check it all out is beyond me.

So I'm still waiting for my DSL and hoping with all the calling I've been doing, reps from both companies are tired of hearing from me and will finally get this done for me.

It pisses me off to no end that I spend hours upon hours calling them and no one will get off their ass, walk down a hall and talk to someone for me to figure this out. So if anyone from Verizon or Earthlink blogs in their spare time, and they read this, let me say this - your companies collectively suck much ass!!!!! Your customer service is beyond shitty!!!! And the wait times to actually speak to someone are astronomically long!!!!

And finally, if I don't have DSL by next week, I'm moving on to another company and damned if you'll ever get cancellation fees out of me.

OK, I think I'm done bitching now.

Friday, December 24, 2004

Those certain CD's I listen to for months on end

I was wrapping gifts last night and had Howie Day's "Stop All the World Now" CD playing in the background. I've had the CD for months and listened to it many times over, but I didn't really listen to the songs, at least not the ones I didn't know. I mean, "Collide", awesome song... and it speaks to me on so many levels.
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find you and I collide

So, throughout most of my adult life, I buy a CD because I like a song or two and then for some reason the CD becomes like my therapy CD. It's always in my car, every song speaks to me, I smile, I cry, I stew when listening to it and then months later after I've worked through something, I listen to the CD and I just hear it and it's still wonderful, but it doesn't move me like it did. It's more like a memory, I smile, I'm appreciative, but I've moved on.

Matchbox 20's "Mad Season" was an incredible influence on some things I was going through years ago. Songs like "Rest Stop" and "Bed of Lies" I just couldn't stop listening to. The CD by Nine Days, "The Madding Crowd" was in my car stereo for almost six months. Back in 1995 the Counting Crows CD, "August and Everything After" was all I listened to. And up until last month Sarah MacLachlan's "Afterglow" CD was my therapy disc. Especially the song "Time" -
So leave me be.
I don't want to argue
I just get confused and I come all undone
If I agree well it's just to appease you
'Cause I don't remember what we're fighting for.

You see love a tight thorny thread
That you spin in a circle of gold.
To have me to hold me
A token for all to see
Captured to be yours alone.

I need just a little more silence
I need just a little more time.

For courage to pull away
There will be hell to pay
Deeper you cut to the bone.

And then last night I was listening to Howie Day, which has become my new therapy CD. For so many songs speak to me about what I'm going through in my life right now. And last night, as I was wrapping gifts, I heard the song "She Says" and really listened to it because some of the words caught me. I don't know if I quite understand it yet, but the song is me....and all that I'm feeling right now and as I figure out more about where I'm going and what I'm going to be doing in my life, I'm pretty sure this song will be there.
She Says


Sweet is the side of her room
Window open by candlelight
How would you know cold winter on the shore
Chills a dress she wore
It’s on the floor and it feels so warm today

And that’s why I’m wondering why you had to tell me
What’s going on I your head
What’s wrong
Come around to another time when you don’t have to run

And when she said she wants somebody else
I hope you know that she doesn’t mean you
And when she breaks down and makes a sound
You’ll never hear her the way that I do

Swing into flight over hills
Over her hills it’s twilight
Yeah, I guess that’s right now while we’re here
Tell me why it’s so funny
That you’re so funny when you’re mad
Always so mad, so mad

And that’s why I’m wondering why you had to tell me
What’s going on I your head
What’s wrong
Come around to another time when you don’t have to run

And when she said she wants somebody else
I hope you know that she doesn’t mean you
And when she breaks down and makes a sound
You’ll never hear her the way that I do
And when she said she wants someone to love
I hope you know she doesn’t mean you
And when she breaks down and lets you down
I hope you know that she knows she doesn’t mean you

Yeah and I don’t know where...come and find me
I don’t know what we’re coming to
And I don’t know what it means to me
And you don’t know what it means to you

And I don't know what it means to me....but damn, I just can't stop thinking of the words to this song.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Merry Christmas to all....

I don't like the holidays usually, but this year I am looking forward to them. I suppose it's the new outlook.

I did tell CP last night, because he's been being a butthead for the last couple of days, that if he didn't pull his head out and start acting like a human being then I was going to leave him the Christmas dinner and go to my mom's and spend the holidays with her. :-)

This morning he was very nice to all of us.

Hmmmm....

So I still don't have DSL at my home, because Earthlink screwed up my move request. Now they are telling me that they have a follow up date of January 3rd to look at my request and see what they can do. I told them that wasn't good enough and am checking into getting DSL from another company, because it sucks to be without it at home.

I also took advantage of a work thing and took on some home/office cleaning gigs. I work for a barter company and I found out last week that a lot of people call in and want home and/or office cleaning on a half cash/half trade basis. The company currently doesn’t have anyone who cleans so I said, "I'll do that." The money is good, the trade money is nice and I'm driven to make my own money and make my own way. For many, many reasons. And so far it's good.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Years, Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukah, etc. I hope the ensuing holidays are wonderful for you all and your families.

Rory

PS – thank you to those who commented on my last post. I appreciate it. More than I can express in words.

Monday, December 20, 2004

Hope for the best, but expect the worst

My mom used to tell me that and I've lived by it for a number of years. The trouble for me is that I never hoped for the best, I just expected the worst in everyone and everything. And I realized this last week that expecting the worst, especially in people, has precluded me from enjoying some really stellar facets of the people I know and love. Also, because I expect the worst, I think I sometimes predetermine the fate of the situation. I'm so sure that I know what is going to happen that my attitude and actions make it happen.

I had a crazy week last week and even though I'm sitting here in front of my computer with no DSL and no Blogger web page to type this into, I'm still terrified to write about this week. But that's me expecting the worst. I'm worried that everyone who reads this is going to finish and give a heavy sigh and never come back. But I started this blog not expecting anyone to read it....ever. I did it for me and to help me through a sad situation that had broken my heart.

And right now I need to get this all out of me no matter what the outcome. I have a lot of emotions and feelings to work through and I've never felt better about the course of my life than I have since I started this blog. So this is where I want to work through it.

So here goes.

I woke up last Wednesday morning, well, I never really went to sleep, so I didn't really wake up....and I was stressed out. I freaked out because of the night before. But I didn't freak out because I was upset with myself, I was freaked because I thought the worst in someone else. And I got myself all worked up expecting to get my heart broken again and it was a complete waste of my time. If I'd never expected the worst, I could have saved myself hours of sadness and worry.

But I need to go back to completely tell this story. I have to go back to the middle of November.

About a week before I left for Burbank I got a phone call from GB. I didn't know why he called me or what prompted it and I didn't recognize his number at first, but once I knew it was him, I knew I wanted to answer.

I was scared and a little shaky because I wanted to talk to him and I wanted to mend the fences, but I didn't know, still, if I could be a good friend to him. If I've learned anything about myself over the last few months, it's that I need to do what I need to do for me, in my life, and I've got to do what is good for me. Talking to GB again, seeing him again, if it wasn't going to be good for me and if it was going to take my focus away from what I want out of my life, then I shouldn't be talking to him.

And isn't it just like a woman for all this stuff to run through my head in the few seconds I stared at his number on my cell phone before I answered it.

So the phone call was good. And it was pretty easy to tell right away that things were different for us. He'd broken up with his girlfriend and later told me that the reason he called me was he was trying to reach out to those people he'd lost touch with during the crazy months of his life where he was really struggling to figure out with relationship with his girlfriend. I don't want to bore you with all the details, but suffice to say, I think for the first time we were both honest with each other. Not that he wasn't honest, but I know I wasn't and this time around I was.

At one point I was thinking about the email I sent him and realizing that I told him I fell in love with him in that email. I never thought I would talk to him again and so at the time it seemed like the wise thing to do. To be honest, no matter the cost. But telling someone you love them and never talking to them again, well, that's a little easier than telling someone you love them and then all of a sudden be talking to them after months. So I just sort of let it go and figured he knew how I felt and he called me anyway. Besides, it was just really great and comforting to be a part of his life and I was hoping that wouldn't change. It was comforting to know that he did think about me and he did call.

Months ago when I sent that email to him I wanted him to call me, but really I didn't. I wanted it to be over because I knew I couldn't be his friend as he worked out his relationship with R when I was feeling what I was for him. I felt like I'd lied to him, that I'd pretended to be this easy girl who just wanted a fuck buddy and didn't get involved in anything serious. I figured that with as much as he travels he probably met girls all the time and had a lot of sex and that he didn't want anything serious with anyone, especially me. I convinced myself that when he wasn't with me or talking to me, he never gave me a second thought. I tried so hard to convince myself that he didn't matter to me because I thought I didn't matter to him.

I was so messed up....and I was expecting the worst of him and I was wrong. I know now that I was completely wrong about him. What I can't figure out right now is whether my being wrong has helped how I view everything between GB and I or making it worse. In a way it was easier when I did everything in my power to hate him and hate the memories. Now that I don't, it makes my heart ache just as much as when I tried to hate him.

This last month has been the oddest of my life and because of that I'm sitting in the place trying to figure out which way to go from here. All the talking I've been doing with GB has been good. Really good. But my greatest friend, AF, who mopped me up in August when I went to see her in Sacramento weeks after what happened with GB, is so pissed at me right now. She's worried that I'm making a huge mistake and that if I get hurt again it will be worse than last time. She listened and believed me when I said every nasty thing I said about GB. She doesn't think I should be talking to him at all, much less seeing him.

Which I did. This last week.

And here's where things get really crazy for me and where it hit me full on that I expect the worst in people. GB came to Portland on business. He works for a big corporation, but I have no idea what he does. He was here for a week. So I spent every evening after I got my kids settled into bed, downtown visiting with GB. But I had to lie to do it. And that part I didn't like so much.

The thing is I can justify it easily. CP is extremely selfish and as long as he gets to do what he wants to do and me going out with a friend who is "in town on business" doesn't interfere with his plans, he could give a crap what I do with my time. He wasn't home most of the time I was out anyway, he was out himself.

GB and I have been doing quite a bit of talking on the phone in the last month and some chatting, which I don't normally do, so we each had a fair idea that the crazy, wild attraction was still there, but we didn't know what we were ready for. I mean, I go out almost every weekend and I dance and get freaky with different guys and sometimes make out with whoever is handy (oh, that sounds awful and skanky) but I'm extremely picky when it comes to sex. I don't just hop in the sack with whoever comes along. I'm not into one-night-stands or seeing someone casually. I learned that from my experience with GB and it's one of the best things I figured out. Because sex for all it's greatness, is not something I can do without feeling something. Maybe it's because of what happened to me when I was 19, maybe it's just the way I am wired....maybe it's a combination of the two. Either way, while I could get laid every weekend, I don't. Because I don't want to and because I have a husband.

Yet, oh my God, I wanted to sleep with GB so badly. I really did. But I knew he wasn't ready for a relationship again, he told me as much. And I knew I might not be ready for all the emotion and I didn't know if it would come flooding back. I was worried that by being with him, I would be taking steps back in all that I've accomplished.

For me there is just this thing with him that I've never experience before. He touches me and every part of my body feels it. God, all he has to do is look at me and I feel like he can see inside me and it scares the hell out of me. There are times when I just can't make eye contact with him for too long. I feel naked if I do. I just lose my ability to think and then he kisses me and I'm gone. And I've never felt this way before, maybe because I've just denied it or not been open to it. I don't know. It was what scared the hell out of me when I first met him and it scares me no less now. I've always been able to be rational and think things through and yet, with GB - I'm a puddle. How's that for a shitty description.

So we did....end up in bed. The first two nights he was in town. The second night, a lot more happened than either of us were prepared for or ready for. And that is when I freaked out. Because I thought the worst of him. I thought he would regret sleeping with me because he wasn't ready for a relationship. And so I braced for impact. I figured that it would be just my luck that I was so weak I sleep with him just days after seeing him after months of not talking to him and he would think so poorly of me that he wouldn't ever want to talk to me again. How's that for traveling a negative path? But that's what I did. I worried and fretted the entire next day. And I put all this shit out there and planned for the worst, knowing without a doubt that it was going to happen.

But it didn't. I freaked out, he didn't. In fact, he actually spent some time thinking rationally about the whole thing and through his rationality and my stress, we both ended up in the same place. I stressed out and came to the conclusion that we really shouldn't sleep together for a while, because I have an agenda for my life and I need to focus on that agenda and being with him, because it is so incredible, could really mess up my plans. He calmly came to the same conclusion, that we shouldn't sleep together for a while because he isn't ready for a relationship and wants time to figure his life out and find out what he wants so that he doesn't continue to get involved in the same types of destructive relationships.

Ding, ding, ding.

I want some "me" time. Time to live on my own and travel by myself and date some guys and really try to figure out what it is that has attracted me to controlling, manipulative bastards in the past so that I can recognize those signs in someone I'm dating and run for the fucking hills before it's too late. I want to take this big, fun journey on my own and enjoy every step along the way. And I couldn't do that if I jumped out of this thing with CP into a thing with GB.

So as much as I care about him, and as much as I'd love to see him again. I think we're better off as friends for right now. And he feels that same.

And that is what we talked about the last couple nights he was here. We have this thing, this crazy attraction to each other. And it would be so easy to act on every chance we get, but after spending three months not talking to him, I want to be his friend and I want him to be mine. And so what we decided is that we're going to be friends for now and see if in a couple of years, after I'm on my own and he's living on his own, if we can get the timing right. Maybe, but even if we can't at least we'll be friends. And great friends are hard to come by.

So what I've learned is that in the year that I knew GB, I thought he was just a guy who lied to me about having a girlfriend, so he lied to me about other things. I went down this road and just expected the worst from him. And I believed it and in the end, when I couldn't talk to him anymore, I had to hate him to get him out of my system, which was easy to do given how poorly I thought of him.

In expecting the worst in him, I never saw how things really were. I never really gave him a chance. And I never gave our friendship a chance. I know I can't really rain down on my self too hard for all this realization, because it's new and at the time I didn't know any of this. But still. Because I expected the worse, did I predetermine the end last August? I hope not. I hope that, ultimately, taking three months off from our friendship, helped us both and allowed us to take the time we needed to figure things out so that we can be better for each other now.

I know if he read this it might hurt him to read all the things that I thought about him. To read that I had to hate him in order to get over him. When I told him some of this he looked surprised and hurt. And that is so not what I wanted. I just had to cope and because I expected the worst, my coping took a very negative turn.

So in this new journey that I'm on, this new path, that has freed me from trying to be what CP wants me to be and acting as I thought others thought I should act and realizing that I don't need someone's adoration to be of worth, I realize that stepping onto this path is only the beginning. Opening up to such new ideas and embracing a completely different way of thinking opens the gates to so many more changes. I expected the worst in people and didn't even have the courage to hope for the best. So now that I've taken the first steps into my life as just Rory, and changed my expectations of myself, I am going to keep going and change my expectations of others.

I'm going to expect good things, I'm not going to think the worst and brace for it like a tidal wave. I am going to hope for the best and try not to have many expectations. If I do I guess it's time I start asking so that I have a better idea what to expect. That way I'll know the answers and will stress less, but I'll also be giving others the chance to be themselves and accepting them as such and not putting all my negative emotions out there onto that relationship and ending it before it's even had a chance to be something great.

Note: It's interesting that I worried, when I wrote this, that GB would read it. It never occurred to me that CP would read it, but that is exactly what happened when this blog was discovered in 2007 by people in my family. It hurt them greatly, yet this is all part of the story. So in resurrecting this blog, this post has to go back up. I learned a lot from my affair. Was it my shining moment? No. Did it change me? Yes.

Monday, December 13, 2004

One of the side benefits of getting my sh*t together

well....as much as anyone can have their shit together, that is.

Any who, I discovered a new benefit .... are you ready, because I wasn't.

I'm actually getting along with my mother. Which considering our history and how insanely freaky she has been over the years, it is an amazing thing. My mother and I never really hit it off, I mean not even when I was a baby. I screamed and cried for months on end and never slept. I think perhaps it was because she smoked four packs of cigarettes a day the entire nine months she was pregnant with me, she just thought that I was a nasty little baby. I really just wanted a cigarette. If she'd stopped and given me a little puff, I most likely would have knocked off to sleep. :-)

Then she had my sister, after she quit smoking, I might add, and all was right with the world for my mother. She had her little, quiet, adorable baby and after my dad left when my sister was seven, she had her codependent, obsessive-compulsive daughter to lean on. They leaned on each other and I took care of them.

The way my mother and sister have always been around each other has pretty much made me sick. They fight, sling accusations at each other, ignore each other for weeks on end, then one of them plays the victim card and the crying begins. Eventually they make up and then do it all over again. I know this is the standard cycle of co-dependency and because I never played in that circle, I was always the odd girl out.

So over the years, my sister could get away with anything, say anything, be anything and my mom would ignore it all. But if I even thought about going to a party in high school, it was like my mom had some sort of telekinesis and I was busted, grounded and hated. The woman wrote the word "fuck" all over my pictures for just writing the word in my journal. My sister got pregnant at 16 years old and does my mom write all over my sister's pictures? Oh no. Does my mom get mad? Nope. My mom supports my sister, takes her to therapy and sits with her in the hospital when she had her baby. She was a great mom to my sister. My sister gave the baby up for adoption and years later blamed my mother for that, but you know. They're co-dependent! It's nuts.

OK, so over the years, my mom and I have never really had a good relationship. If I did anything great, my mom would downplay it and then have my sister do it and she did it greater, according to my mother. Yea, it was fun....read in the sarcasm there. I moved away from my mom as soon as I could when I graduated high school. When I lived states away from her, she only came to visit me 4 times in 7 years...and we only talked on the phone every once in a while. BTW, my sister lives states away now and my mom flies to see her four times a year.

One of the reasons I did not want to move back here to Oregon is because I didn't want to be around my mom again. I didn't want her influencing my kids, I didn't want her hovering over me telling me how much greater my sister's kids were. But I moved back and she did all the things I expected she would do. For a while.

But over the last six months or so, as I've come out of my "why does my husband love God more than me" fog and as I've managed to figure out a lot of things about me, I stopped reacting to my mother. I stopped caring that my sister did things better than I did. When my mom talked down to something I did, like getting my nose pierced, I ignored her and she just stared at me....much as my husband does, as if an alien has taken over my body and the Rory they used to watch dissolve into tears is gone. I can't tell if they miss the old Rory and ability I gave them to put me down, or if they are just surprised that the old tactics don't work anymore. I don't know if they hate the way I was or hate the way I am now.

Frankly my dear.....I don't give a damn.

Regardless, my mother and I are actually getting along. We went to lunch for my birthday and it was good. She helped me paint my house and we talked about a lot of unresolved issues from the past and worked a lot out, without an argument. She and I even went Christmas shopping the other day and had a good time.

I don't know if there is an absolute wrap up to this blog entry. I don't know if this will last with my mother. I just know it's good....for now. And that's what I've been trying to do more of lately, not focus on the destination, but enjoy the journey along the way to where ever the hell I'm going. And the journey with my mom, well....it isn't so bad anymore.

Note: While my mom and I have maintained a good relationship, my sister and I are still not well. She wrote a book and published it (within six months of learning about this blog, BTW), and her book was full of stuff that pissed me off to no end. I tried my best to keep our relationship going, but couldn't. I will write more about her book later, with excerpts, etc and explanations.

Friday, December 10, 2004

What is it with birthdays?

Yesterday I turned 36. I remember when I was in my mid-20's and I looked at people in their 30's with teenagers and I thought they seemed so old. Now that I'm pushing 40, I realize they might have just been hitting their stride in life, because that's how I feel. I don't feel 36, I feel like I'm 21. When I was 21 I felt completely ancient.

So birthdays....mine anyway, have never gone well in my house. CP has his own agenda for life and as long as he gets to do what he has planned, nothing else matters. So needless to say, in 15 years of marriage I haven't expected much. I used to, in the first few years, but that has changed over time. I am happy if my kids make me homemade birthday cards and my mom gets me a gift and gives me a hug. I've actually had birthdays come and go without a word from CP. So this year I was expecting nothing more. (BTW, Christmas goes much the same, as does Valentine's and our anniversary)

Now I'm not writing all this out for a pity me moment or anything, it's just my life and I've learned to adjust to it very well. I take the good moments of the day and forget about the bad ones and I've learned that lowering my expectations into the gutter is the best way to get through that "special day."

Yesterday morning, neither my kids, nor CP said anything to me in the way of birthday wishes. My kids because most likely, without their dad prompting them, they just don't remember. With CP, it's just not his style. At work I got lots of hugs and birthday wishes and even a song. And then I went to lunch with my mom and she got me a gift. As did my sister and her family.

When I got home my kids yelled "happy birthday!" as I walked in the door and CP had purchased dinner and dessert. So I didn't have to cook and we ate cake. There were also roses on the table.

So I sit here, wondering what my future holds for me, and I feel duplicitous. He talks about a future that I don't believe we're going to have together anymore. He turns on a dime and is pissed off at me and then switches back. And I'm in a place now where it doesn't bother me, but I'm also not in it for the long haul. Sundays are always difficult, because before church he's fine, but when he comes home he's pissed at me for no other reason than I don't go to Mormon church anymore.

And yet, he buys roses and buys dinner and I feel sad looking at him and trying to think positively about him and us, but somewhere the positive gets lost in the shuffle of emotions, because I know he and I are going to end.

He'll move on to a cute little Mormon girl and have a few more kids and I'll move on with my own life and make my own way.....and most likely never get married again. I want to be me....take time for me....and never be tied to a man by a piece of paper again. It's a cheap and easy piece of paper to get, but it costs a fortune in money and emotion to get out of.

So I'm 36, I'm lying to my husband, I want my own life and I want to pursue some of the dreams that I gave up to be married and be a mom. Am I a pretty normal 36 year old mother of three? I don't know...what defines normal anyway?

Note: I did eventually get remarried and he was remarried within a few months of our divorce, but not to a "cute little Mormon girl." He married someone who is a little older than him (I think)...and they haven't had any kids.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Is it too late to move back?

New house painted.....check.

New house cleaned.....check.

Boxes packed.....check.

Rental truck reserved.....check.

Help with the move.....check.

Everything loaded.....check.

Boxes and furniture unloaded at the new house.....check.

Requisite number of items broken in the move....check. (my computer desk, the CD rack and a photo album dropped and pictures ruined)

Available to the outside world via our new phone number.....check.

Kids enrolled and started in new schools.....check.

Dog adjusting the new house.....check.

Fit thrown by husband.....check.

Fit ignored by me.....check. :-)

Medications required for my survival found in a box upon arrival.....NO.

So that was the fun part, besides stressing over the location of all my refrigerator magnets (crazy I know, but I have quite a collection), my medications disappeared in this move. I packed them late on the morning of the move, and put them safely in a box with the rest of the stuff from my dresser, thinking and planning on retrieving them as soon as we arrived. I have a cold so I'm on antibiotics and I needed them.

By Saturday night I was frantically unpacking everything and setting it around and by Sunday evening I resigned myself to the fact that they most likely "moved" home with someone else. We had a lot of help with the move and I really, really ..... really hate to lay the blame with the people who helped, but where else could they be?

I'm very careful with my meds and because of my migraines I have some extremely powerful pills and now they are all gone.

I called my doc and reported them missing, but I just don't know if he's going to feel comfortable refilling them for me. I mean, the antibiotic, no problemo, but the narcotics....um....not so much. And I was nervous to call.

So I'm back at work and I'm half unpacked and I hope to have my computer up and running tonight. Between that and the satellite dish and my fridge looking all decorated up, I'm sure it'll feel like home.....soon.