Monday, August 22, 2005

Got a visit from the Mormon Bishop

First of all, it's important to clarify that this thing with BS has turned into a big thing. We're only dating each other and we're happy. I know it's crazy and soon, but he's an amazing man and right now, he's just what I want. So I have a boyfriend and I don't want it any other way.

So yesterday, the kids and BS and I went to a movie and then went to his house for a BBQ. Then I took the kids to my place and was getting ready to go out to a comedy club with BS and some other friends when there was a soft knock at the door.

I knew it wasn't BS so I went to the door and opened it and it was the Bishop and his 12 year old son. (Now I should note that I've moved into the same ward - ward: a small geographic area and all the Mormons who live in that area go to church on Sunday at the same time and do activities outside of church together as a group - I've moved in to the same ward CP and I lived in for the first five years of our marriage. I'm sure there are still people in this ward who recognize my name and are thinking...."Yeah, she's back.")

The Bishop shook my hand and introduced himself and asked if they could come in and I said no and stood with the door only part way open. He asked if my husband and kids and I lived there and I said, "I live here with my kids." He said, "but it says that you're married" and showed me the church records he had a copy of that say I'm married. I said that yes, I was technically still married, but that we were almost divorced.

Then he handed me my church records and asked me to verify everything. What freaked me out most was that they had my new home phone number. I've only had the number for about 5 weeks and it's a cell phone number. I don't know where they got it, but damn.....they work fast. I've only been living here for about two and a half months.

So he was asking me if I wanted Visiting Teachers (two women who come to visit me every month) and I said no. Then he asked about Home Teachers (two men who come to visit the family every month) and I said no. He asked if I wanted written correspondence and I said no.

And then I saw BS walking up the stairs to my apartment. Actually, I heard his flip-flops before I saw him and I knew it was going to be good.

But Oh my God. He was wearing shorts, a T-shirt that said "I love Party Girls," sunglasses and a cowboy hat. He had no clue who these people were and could have cared less. He said, "Hey Baby how're doing?" and put his arm around me and gave me a kiss. I said, "Hi, Baby" and he walked right in the apartment.

I looked back at the Bishop and his face got all dark and he simply said, "If you need anything let us know. Have a good evening." And he walked away.

He seemed awfully pissed off. But then again, he did bring his 12 year old son out to meet the inactive Mormons. LOL.

I went in the house, shut the door and started laughing so hard. I couldn't have timed that better if I'd wanted to. The almost divorced inactive mother and her boyfriend flying in the face of Mormon dogma.

It was funny.

So the reason they came to visit me - I'm still a "member of record." Meaning my name is still on the membership rolls of the Mormon church. And that Bishop looked pissed off.

So guess what went in the mail today?

My exit letter to the Mormon church. I don't want to take any chances with being ex-communicated. A lovely little ceremony where a bunch of old men call you to a "court of love" - yeah, right they love you so much they want to kick you out of their church. They call in people (read CP) to testify against you and they asked you all kinds of personal questions about sex and drinking and whatever they want to use against you.

I can just see it now:

Have you had sex with someone other than your husband while you were still married, Ms. Kearn?

Um....yeah....a lot and I'm probably going to go do it again as soon as this is over.

I don't want to be ex-communicated. I want to leave the Mormon church on my own terms, not be kicked out by them. And even though, after everything I've been through with CP and his bullshit about the church and God, I didn't want to give the Mormons any more of my time by writing the letter, I figured it was a good idea after yesterday. I'll say it again, that Bishop looked pissed off.

So here is my letter:

Member Records, LDS Church
50 E North Temple Rm 1372
Salt Lake City, UT

This letter is my formal resignation from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and it is effective immediately. I hereby withdraw my consent to being treated as a member and I withdraw my consent to being subject to church rules, policies, beliefs and discipline. As I am no longer a member, I want my name permanently and completely removed from the membership rolls of the church.

I have given this matter considerable thought. I understand what you consider the 'seriousness' and the 'consequences' of my actions. I am aware that the church handbook says that my resignation "cancels the effects of baptism and confirmation, withdraws the priesthood held by a male member and revokes temple blessings." I also understand that I will be "readmitted to the church by baptism only after a thorough interview".

My parents joined the LDS church when I was five years old and I was an active member for over 20 years. In the last two years I have thoroughly studied the history of the LDS church and the current research about the church and the Book of Mormon. I have studied approved LDS literature, the scriptures and literature from many other sources. I do not make this decision lightly, but only after extensive research. I no longer believe in the truthfulness of the LDS gospel, nor that Joseph Smith was a true prophet of God. I do not believe that temple ordinances are the only way to enter heaven and dwell in the presence of God and I no longer have a testimony of the Book of Mormon. It is for these reasons, and my own peace of mind, that I have decided to resign from the LDS church.

My resignation should be processed immediately, without any 'waiting periods'. I am not going to be dissuaded and I am not going to change my mind.

I expect this matter to be handled promptly, with respect and with full confidentiality.

After today, the only contact I want from the church is a single letter of confirmation to let me know that I am no longer listed as a member of the church.

(letter copied in part from