Friday, September 16, 2005
I'm off this weekend to go camping at the beach with BS and other people we know. I know it's going to rain today, I know I'll be cold sometimes, and I know I'll probably have to dash for the bathroom as we drink more and cook less.....but oh boy....am I excited to go camping.
I used to camp a lot. I should say, WE used to camp a lot. When we lived in Utah, CP, the kids and I would take off once a month for a weekend and just pick a spot in the desert and pitch a tent or two. Then we'd hike all over and take pictures and enjoy the scenery. At night, we'd light the fire, play cards and watch the stars.
I haven't been camping in four years. Not since CP got a burr up his ass about making money, keeping said money from me and being a stoic Mormon. Camping is bad, it's a vacation from the real world, and God knows that all Mormons (read CP) musn't take a break from the "real world." They must suffer always!
But I digress.
I'm very excited to go camping, sit by the fire, play cards and watch the stars. I'm also excited to pitch a tent, yes, the sexual innuendo is intended there. And then there will be that late night stroll on the beach.....and everything that comes with it. OK, sexual innuendo intended there, as well.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Oh, and did I mention that I officially got full-time status at work yesterday. So now I'm a bona fide full-time Big Box employee and soon the kids and I will have a full benefits package. Can you believe that? We haven't had insurance in almost five years. Best news.
Monday, September 12, 2005
Oh, I hope somebody from the city reads this someday because I am so goddamn sick of the City of Beaverton and their photo-happy radar vans. But I suppose that is too much to ask. I bet the people who work for the city are too busy licking envelopes with photo radar tickets in them to have any spare time to read blogs.
So in January of this year, I was driving in the rain (true, but it's an excuse) and this guy pulled out in front of me taking a right in the intersection (true, but an excuse, as well). I slammed on my brakes and ended up going too slowly through the intersection. He got his right turn in and I ended up crossing the intersection after the light turned red and came to a dead stop in the intersection. The picture of me the photo radar took is priceless.....too bad I threw it away.
Perhaps, if I'd thought of it, I'dve done this:
The court date they set randomly was for a day I was going to be in Oklahoma City visiting my dad before he left for Afghanistan. So I wrote a letter, explained the situation and asked for leniency and I got some...they dropped the price of the ticket from $350 to $270. Yeah....that's what I thought.
And so CP made terrible fun of me and refused to help me pay the ticket. I couldn't afford to pay it all at once, especially after I moved out, so I made payments to the City of Beaverton until a couple of months ago.
But guess what.
The other day, while driving to BS's house, tucked away in the trees was a fucking photo radar van....the traveling photo radar nightmare.....lights off, no flashing speedometer and I was going six miles over the not-posted speed limit and bam....flash of light and the City got me again.
But I'm going to fight this one. For a number a reasons....principle being the main one. Damn if I'm going to give this sickeningly rich city any more of my hard earned money. They can pay their councilmen less or perhaps stalk their neighborhoods and catch them speeding.
Secondly, this van was hidden, but it was also hidden on the Beaverton side of a road that is the dividing line between the Cities of Tigard and Beaverton. I think jurisdiction here is a little sketchy and I intend to push that issue.
Finally, and this is where the urban studies classes of my last year come in handy, the area the van was sitting in was technically "unincorporated Washington County." Meaning, the area is not actually part of the City of Beaverton. If someone who lived out there called the police, they would get a response from the Washington County Sheriff's department. Not the City of Beaverton. The area is called the Progress area....and as far as I know, it's not within the official boundaries of Beaverton.
Beaverton is trying to annex at least six different areas in "unincorporated Washington County." Cedar Hills, West Slope, Raleigh Hills, Garden Home, Bethany and Cedar Mill. They hope to gobble up the Nike campus, but Nike has said no way and already filed paperwork to stop them. The Progress area isn't even on their list of places to annex, but they sure like to park their vans there. Damn damn damn.
I live in Beaverton because the schools are good and I'm close to work, but I really dislike the photo radar. They acquired one set of photo radar cameras for an intersection.....and now they are everywhere. They have at least three or four vans that they consistently park along the streets in the unincorporated areas. Which to me seems wrong.
And so I wait until some company in Wisconsin (that's where the last one came from) sends me my ticket with my picture and summons to court. And you can bet your ass I'll be ready. And I'm going to fight this baby for all I'm worth.
And finally I just have to share this picture, which I found while searching for photo radar photos. Not too many people post them online, which is a shame, I bet some of them are hilarious. Like this one:
Monday, September 05, 2005
I'm more tired than I think I've been in a decade. And I get a little melancholy when I'm tired. So I apologize in advance for the not-so-upbeat tempo of this entry.
I was thinking too much about my life and where I'm at right now...and then I threw caution to the wind and decided not to think about it or analyze it.....and now I'm wondering if it's better to think too much than too little. I mean, I have big stuff going on. And throwing caution to the wind has never been my strongest trait.
I took on full-time hours at work, and I suppose it was good, as now there is a full-time position doing what I do open...it comes with benefits and I was told today to apply for it as I'm a "shoe in" for the position.
School starts tomorrow for my kids and so life becomes less about which bar has darts and more about math and spelling and cooking dinner, something I haven't done in ages and something I miss. Sitting at the kitchen table and helping with homework seems like a vacation right now.
And yet, there is this thing with BS....and it's still so new and so great....and oddly enough I blog about my whole life on here, but I don't want to blog much about him. It's sort of like my secret little treasure and I want it to stay that way. Just mine...and his.
So while homework seems like a nice respite from the whirlwind dating life I've been living right now, I like the whirlwind.
Maybe that's why I'm feeling melancholy. I've had every other week to myself, I've been packing my things in a bag and spending days at a time living at BS's house. And the other days, he was a my apartment. I did his laundry today and his shoes are in my closet. OK, so maybe not so much a little treasure with me putting this out there.
And tomorrow life begins. My life with my kids. School, homework, work, trips to the orthodontist, walks in the park....a quiet life...the one I've been waiting for and working so hard for. And yet, I'll miss playing darts at a little dive bar on a week night because I could.
When will I do that again?
Then school starts for me in a few weeks. And for BS. And then the times we see each other will be few and far between. I suppose that will make it more of a treasure. But it will also suck much ass.
And so I'm more tired than I can remember being since I had two kids in diapers. My back is killing me, maybe because I haven't been drinking enough water, but I think I know what it is. I think I have a kidney infection....or a kidney stone. Which would make sense given the stress I still feel facing down this divorce? How much would that suck?
I go to court again on Friday and the issues I could have brought up with CP this week, I've set aside because I just didn't want to deal with it. I'll let the judge do that.
And tonight CP dropped off the kids with me. He's only going to see them every other weekend. He dropped off half the stuff from their bedrooms. And while I sat at the top of the stairs and watched him say goodbye to them, I didn't even feel for him. I'm in a melancholy mood, but not for him.
So hopefully, with a good night's sleep I'll feel less melancholy and more like myself and maybe by some blessing from the Goddess, I won't have a kidney stone.
I wake up in the morning
And the sun is shining, but I barely have the
Strength to close the curtain,
Stop the sun from hurting my black hole
Everything's an effort
When you doubt the purpose of your soul
(But I just keep rolling on)
Desperation disappear beneath my cover
Happiness is waiting in a dreamless slumber
I could sleep forever
~Sleep Forever by Bree Sharp
And that's as melancholy as I get.