Thursday, September 20, 2007

A top 10 list and a new job....again

So last week, right after my last post, I got a phone call from someone I used to work for. Someone I blogged about, hence the reading over my old posts last week.

This someone offered me a job. Three years has gone by, time passed, pain eased, and I'm in a much better place to take this job offer and know, really .... know, that I can do it.

So last thursday I accepted a position as a web developer/graphic designer for my friend's company. It's full time, good money, flexible hours, yet steady Monday thru Friday work and I can take my vacations without fussing over vacation hours. I get a week off between Christmas and New Year and I get to do once again, what I love. Writing code and making web pages.

It's funny, my life was completely mushroom shaped three weeks ago. My son...gone, My Baby B....gone, my sanity.....certainly close to gone. And yet, it seems like that was the completely right thing to do. Take some time and really open myself up to the pain and misery of my life and then just when I thought I would never get up, letting go. Completely, a by choice, letting go of that tiny little thread of hope I had that my life would ever be what *I* wanted it to be. Letting go my ongoing desire to control everything around me. Realizing that I needed to surrender, finally and absolutely, to whatever was in store for me.

And it's starting to come around.

And so now, in the spirit of David Letterman, I will give you the top ten list of things I will not miss about working at Best Buy:

10. Hearing the same top 40 song (right now it's Umbrella by Rhianna) one million times a day.
9. Going out on the town with other Best Buy employees and rather than having fun, sitting around drinking talking about retail sales numbers, gross margin, install sales, and organic growth.
8. Pissy customers who think I don't know shit about computers because I'm a girl, i.e., people who call my "honey", "sweetie" or "darling" in a nasty, condescending tone while looking down at me over their designer glasses all decked out in Kenneth Cole and Armani and smelling like a bottle of overpriced stanky cologne and then casually looking at my ring finger, notice it devoid of ring, who then raise their eyebrow and reassess ...... OK, that one got away from me. :-)
7. "Code One to the front lanes" means anyone who can run up and take over a cash register to reduce the line of customers better get their ass to the front of the store pronto and help out.
6. Taking out my nose piercing and replacing it with a plastic retainer that makes it look like I have a giant blackhead on my nose.
5. Magnolia salesmen (who shall remain nameless) who think they walk on water, but are really just overpaid fucking prima-donnas.
4. Saturday morning meetings, bright and early at 7 AM so we can all cheer and learn before the store opens. God, I hated those.....they should really be father up the list, but I hate everything in the top three soooooo much more.
3. Managers standing on inventory ladders in the middle of the store with pen and paper, taking notes and pointing at sales reps on the floor. Oh my God, micromanage much!!
2. Daily morning meetings complete with get-to-know-you games and a store cheer. "Fourteen Twenty Two (our store number) - Blue Through and Through!"
1. Black Friday - oh yeah, if you're in retail or ever have been you know what I'm talking about. The cattle rush of a shit-ton of customers at 5 AM the day after Thanksgiving.

All this being said, the job served a purpose....actually it served it twice and I left for a while and came back. I'm done there now. And no matter what, I won't be going back to work there. It was great. It is now old....and I'm ready for it to be over.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Just spent an hour

reading over a lot of my old posts.

I realize that I have been complaining of being "bone tired" and overwhelmed with my life for almost my entire blog life and certainly since I took on the single mom gig.

What is that about? Is that normal? Am I just a whiner?

My goodness, I think it's high time I did something about that to do something about that don't I.

I also reused post titles a few times and used a lot of song lyrics to title my postings.

One thing has not changed.....I still hate, hate, loath and detest CP with a fiery, all-consuming passion. The man makes me ill. And after reading this and taking stock of where my life is now and where it was, I realize that for many years he will be a part of my life. He will attempt to control me and sometimes find success. He will continue to bad mouth me to our kids. He will always think he did the right thing, that I am headed straight for hell and rationalize his life and choices away.

And I will always throw up in my mouth a little when I remember the last months of our marriage and then smirk because I am so blissfully happy to have gotten away from him.